We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

More Than I Lead On

by dorks for days

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
There’s a Barnegat Blvd everywhere and maybe When this is all over we can find another one And I’ve been thinking that I don’t wanna live here Really wanting a god damn adventure But instead I’m inside doing nothing all day hope these ideas I have work half as good as I want them to be Let’s find the Barnegat Blvd in a place that is very far from here Looks like I’m going alone because no one here is sincere Easy captain I can’t sail this ship, I think you may be on a bad drug trip Saying I’m the one you want but you contradict yourself, it’s a crossover And every time I think this is all over, I’m blinded by this week’s latest disclosure Let’s find the Barnegat Blvd in a place that is very far from here Looks like I’ll go alone because no one here is sincere No one here was ever sincere, that was my constant fear That I'm going to die alone and I’ll ever be known And I’ll never no if I’m worth anything because no stayed to see And if there is a place in world for me Can someone just show me
2.
Hey it's raining, no it's not Got the feeling that change never stops Poster effect, collecting miskitos I'll give you a courtesy smile Get on ground level, feel at home Fixation on the same few things More recently, I miss my mom Don't stop now, a break is fatal Those things you were hiding Come out throughout your day, your life You find no one for confiding Get down on earth, just feel numb Fixation on the same few things Today, I just feel alone No one ever told me I'd feel like this Turning 18 just makes your life a mess I fixate and I can't even cry about it Maybe someday soon I can kill that habit My mind is the weather of September In New Jersey staying the same is a never I'm glued earth, I don't feel at home Fixation on the same little things More recently, I miss my mom And today I just feel alone
3.
My hands are fucked up and I'm feeling pretty rough, don't how to tell me I'm sick of me It's easy to just pretend that I'm not lying in my bed looking for a sign of something to do So I lay here some more, knowing that I'm a bore, wondering when I will finally start to see That this won't work and I'm just a little jerk to myself and I should just be through And I'm so fucking tired but I can't even sleep My happiness expired again, it's on repeat So I took a fucking walk and I ruined my vans I got mud on my vans hiking January 15th Not sad there and then but then in the end I was bummed out I need a winter job or continue to sob by then end of the month be out of gas Someone hire me, can you even see, that I'll do whatever I can to work And I'm so fucking tired but I can't even sleep My happiness expired again, it's on repeat So I took a fucking walk and I ruined my vans I got mud on my vans hiking January 15th Not sad there and then but then in the end I was bummed out So I took a fucking walk and I ruined my vans I got mud on my vans hiking January 15th Not sad there and then but then in the end I was bummed out I was bummed out I ruined my vans I was bummed out I'm still bummed out
4.
They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away but I don't know if that’s true And if the early bird really gets the worm then why haven’t I got a clue And when I knock on wood as I should is luck to me actually due When life’s a piece of cake, I’m wide awake at 4 am you’ll see me, you will Oh I’m so, so happy when you’re not around Oh I’m dancing, smiling, not underground It feels so good to just hang on out And I’m so, so happy when you’re not around I’ve never had much fun, can’t even dye my hair... why, you may ask I’ve always just been so stupidly scared for reasons soon to pass But now I wanna go completely crazy the world is my oyster, and vast This may be a short term mood I’m in right now but here’s to hoping it won’t pass Hey world get ready for me this minute, I’m getting off my ass Oh I’m so, so happy when you’re not around Oh I’m dancing, smiling, not underground It feels so good to just hang on out And I’m so, so happy when you’re not around Oh I’m so, so happy when you’re not around Oh I’m dancing, smiling, not underground It feels so good to just hang on out And I’m so fucking happy when you’re not around I'm fucking happy when you're not around
5.
It’s about time I admit I care more than I lead on Ponder this for a bit and after time I still can’t admit That I definitely care and that can't be proved wrong New information, just making it worse New ideas, cause my feelings to disperse And I’m just hoping I’m not cursed Reference a song to myself I know more than I lead on Place self-hatred on a shelf, guess what, that doesn’t make it gone Unwanted wanted feelings, afraid of you Unwanted garbage dealings, afraid of me too Turns out this is the norm, the real, the fool An early bird who is a night owl Actually, I'm just sleep deprived Can’t say what it’s about, can’t not express this out I know how I feel, I hate how I think It’s small for now, but eventually I'll reach my brink Oh fuck I’m jealous Shit I’m jealous So stupidly jealous Oh I’m jealous And it looks bad on me The color of thought is ugly Cause I’m jealous Why am I jealous Oh I'm jealous Why am I jealous That's an ugly color to be That's an ugly color to be
6.
Initiative 03:32
You ever watch the wick of a candle until you can feel a calmness Because breathing is stressful and the flame gives you solace And I’m dreaming too big for my own good Disappointment would’ve kill me if only it could And if I can't make it work I don’t want live I would give my whole self just to take initiative And the stakes of this state are high At least that’s all I’ve really seen All in or all out I definitely buy Because myself I see the things I want to redeem You ever cry for hours no end in sight and you wish you could just try But you have no reason to be polite to yourself but should to get by And I’m dreaming too big for my own good Disappointment would’ve kill me if only it could And if I can't make it work I don’t want live I would give my whole self just to take initiative And the stakes of this state are high At least that’s all I’ve really seen All in or all out I definitely buy Because myself I see the things I want to redeem And if I can't make it work I don’t want live I would give my whole self just to take initiative I’m dreaming too big for my own good Disappointment would’ve kill me if only it could And if I can't make it work I don’t want live I would give my whole self just to take initiative
7.
I think I like you Too bad you’re just flirting for fun I’ll admit I was But suddenly feel at a loss for fun The world crazy And I’m sad everyday for everyone Working so hastily Trying to please everyone, I just wanna have fun You make me feel fun, you make me feel full In a world that’s so empt, a girl can feel so small But you make me feel big, I wanna feel bigger And as short term as it is, I hope one day to feel bliss Because you make me feel fun You laugh with me Who knew I had some semblance of humor You look at me Who know my existence warranted eyes Makes me wanna never cry, because smiling never made me feel more alive You make me feel fun You make me feel full In a world that’s so empty A girl can feel so small But you make me feel big I wanna feel bigger As short term as it is I hope one day to feel this But for now, for today You make me feel Oh you make me feel You make me feel fun And I think I like you I think I like you Cause you make me feel fun
8.
Just one plan to be just that One plan then you don’t want it Pushing me away, yeah it’s okay I don’t know what to say except don’t stay Saying things that are false just to get a response back I was just bored, I was just sad Wanted to stay with you and listen to bands I never liked Ready to love them for you but that’s ill-advised I’m so interested that I don’t even care What I’ve always wanted cause I thought you were rare But you’re just as everyone is and now I’m aware Self-depreciation is a flaw I am constantly at fault There is it again I’m me I need to stop saying sorry Looking up to people in that state Unapologetic and choose their fate And I just say false words to compensate, for all of this self hate I’m boring, I’m sad Wanted to stay with you, listen to bands I never liked Ready to love them for you but that’s ill-advised I’m so interested that I don’t even care What I’ve always wanted cause I thought you were rare Wanted to stay with you, listen to bands I never liked Ready to love them for you but that’s ill-advised I’m so interested that I don’t even care What I’ve always wanted cause I thought you were rare But you’re just as everyone is and now I’m aware Of course you’re bored, I’m not myself You don’t know me and I won’t let it out Saying I think shit I never cared about Why would you want a girl made of self-doubt

credits

released October 6, 2020

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

dorks for days New Jersey

Songs I wrote and recorded on my phone haha. It's acoustic right now I'm hoping to add more instruments in the future!

contact / help

Contact dorks for days

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

If you like dorks for days, you may also like: