1. |
glass wall (uh oh no)
03:39
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When is it my turn to feel normal, I’m usually crying internally as we speak
No one can see me I’m a glass wall, that they talk to but it’s never the reciprocal
Who are you, who am I to you
Background character viewed as so moral, but it’s easy to remain so when you’re given no other plans
I’m looking for something but I can’t place it, uninspired whenever I try too hard
What do you do, when you are you?
What’s the point of being happy if there’s no one there with you?
Maybe I’m a worse person then I think
Maybe I do things that I don’t mean to do
I’m so sorry, I’m just so enervate
Grow apart and left all alone, I was just going to be this way I always thought so
Or maybe I put myself there as a result, of rejection, unkindness and depression, desperation
Uh oh no, I feel so guilty, for things I might have done but I don’t know
Uh oh no, It gets so hard to keep trying when it is seeming like I’ll always be alone.
A glass wall, see-through, feels like I’m not really there with you
Uh oh, oh no, uh oh no
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2. |
grass stains
03:39
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Kill me, feels bittersweet
Kill me, I'm stuck in a dream
In the stillness, 20° ground freezes me to blankness
And the air around gradually makes it harder to breathe
Oh but I'll stay still until I learn how to change
Statue stature, cold emotion splatter, dampen my cheeks
Movement is not unheard of, had I been able to be awake
Life's a fantasy or it doesn't fulfill worthy needs
It's romanticized, that thing, living
Romanticized, what you "bring"
Romanticized, my future happily obliged
Seems all I do is fight myself to feel alive
Kill me, feels bittersweet
Kill me, end the fantasy
Kill me, I'm stuck in a dream
And could you guess that I don't want to dream
Everything I see looks and feels bleak
Cling to the thought that tomorrow I'll feel differently
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3. |
my own enemy
02:10
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Somethings rule your life, cut through the real you, and you don't know anything about them
And try as you might symptoms come out as you age, sometimes you can't even see them
The brink of insanity enchants your mind as if it's a lovely little rose just blooming
How did I get here, love is something that I think I have for my insanity
Fuck I'm my own enemy
Oh I'm in these mood swings, don't know what I'm doing but hey I think I love the enemy
And the person I supposedly am may not be there under me, going fucking crazy
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4. |
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I know I'm being an asshole but I can't see to stop
I'm aware that I'm just pissing everyone I know off
I going down a rabbit hole that can be endless
And guess what guys, I didn't break any of my bad habits
They were just waiting for a good time to show
My evil colors are coming out and so now you all know
That I don't wanna celebrate turning 18
Cause I know I'll make everyone else feel crappy
So on that note can we all just wait
Let's all go around and say I haven't aged
I'm going back to the place I forgot I'd been
So let's find a day to celebrate where I don't have to fake a grin
And I think this time if I let it, sadness will win
But I'm trying so hard to hold it together
But I don't want to fight anymore
So I'm just an asshole
I'm slowly veering to the right in hopes that I'll be
Hit or I'll run over a very large tree
I'll go and see my mom because this isn't how
My life is supposed to be playing out
I'm sorry that was bitchy I just don't know
Why I keep saying things the words just go
And I don't wanna celebrate turning 18
Cause I know I'll make everyone else feel crappy
So on that note can we all just wait
Let's go around and say I haven't aged
I'm going back to the place I forgot I'd been
So let's find a day to celebrate without a fake grin
And I think this time if I let it, sadness will win
But I'm trying so hard to hold it together
But I don't want to fight anymore
So I'm just an asshole
So I'm just an asshole
I'm just being an asshole
Who's turning 18 tomorrow
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dorks for days New Jersey
Songs I wrote and recorded on my phone haha. It's acoustic right now I'm hoping to add more instruments in the future!
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For My Love
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